Feeling much better emotionally today. For some reason, about once a week I feel the unstoppable need to curl up in bed and cry all day. I wonder if it's related to my energy level. Since going back to work just a couple weeks ago, I realize I can handle about 5-6 days, then I'm spent. Kevin and I went out to dinner on Friday and at 8:30pm I had to lay down in the car, close my eyes and just recharge for 30 minutes. Really? I need a nap on a Friday nite? Yes, things have changed.
I have always been a bit cynical, lean towards the negative side, guarded, cautious and very careful with my relationships. I am a glass half empty kinda person. Don't know why, that's just the way I'm wired. I read someone's Facebook status (Richie) who said the glass isn't half empty or half full, it is the wrong size! :)
It's really hard to stay positive all the time. I try very very hard to, but just can't seem to always pull it off. Everything is so different. It's hard to see all things rosy through swollen eyes that serve as a constant reminder of my fate. I can't see past my fat face. My eyes used to win me compliments all the time. Now I hate mirrors.
Lynne -
ReplyDeleteI hope that you don't feel that you have to be positive all of the time! That's too much for any of us. I have spent plenty of crying moments lamenting the fact that CANCER had robbed me of the life I had dreamed of sharing with my husband. You deserve that too!
Have your blood tests shown improvement with the Gleevec dose that you are on? Are you still suffering from the bone pain, etc?
I hear the analogy "robbed" from alot of cancer folks..it's fitting!
ReplyDeleteDoc says I'm in Hematological Remission, meaning my blood work is back to normal. I got there after just 2 months. I don't know when I got Leukemia, but I think we caught it really quickly. The pain is gone, more of a fatigue in my bones. I pause going up steps, don't have alot of energy.
I have my next appointment on Friday. He has said he wont reduce the Gleevec or take another biopsy until around the 6 month mark. I understand that - the meds are working. It really is very new in the big picture.
Thanks for writing back and I hope you have alot of happiness in your life!
I am thankful to hear that you have hit the first level of remission and am pulling for your 6 month results to be even better!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness that your bone pain is gone. Hopefully your doctor can help you find ways to combat the fatigue. Even though it was hard to do, Tyler felt better when he was able to get out for some enjoyable exercise. He preferred walking around a golf course, so he did that pretty often -- building up his stamina again after treatments by doing a little bit more walking each time he went. I hope that you can find something fun like that! Do you like shopping?
Great News! The doctor reduced my meds from 600mg to 400mg! I didn't expect that to happen until June, so you can imagine I'm thrilled! This should be the dosage I'm on for the rest of my life, so I'm anxious to see some improvement - all the way around.
ReplyDeleteWalking is my preference also...it's good for the body and the mind.